Naughty Pope | Now what has he been up to?

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day.
He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was
stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick, and he had
a half empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He
opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple of
minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes
arthritis"?

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap,
wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your
fellow man."

"Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered. He returned
to reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he said, turned to the man
and apologized. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so
strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis, Father, but I just read in the
paper that the Pope has does."
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Another joke...

One day, a mom was cleaning her son's room and in the
closet she found a bondage S&M magazine.

This was highly upsetting for her.

She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it
to him.

He looked at it and handed it back to her without a word.

She finally asked him, " Well what should we do about this?"

The dad looked at her and said, "Well I don't think you should spank him."

You sure know my sense of humor.

Mine too, These were funny. Check out one form me:

A guy comes into a bar and asks for a bier. "One cent!" the bartender says. The guy looks around surprised, not knowing what to think. He then looks over the menu and asks for the most expensive steak he cound find there. "Oh, OK" the bartender say. "But that's gonna come to real moeny" "How much?" "Four cents"
The guy is more and more suprised. "Are you the onwer of this bar?" he asks then bartender then
"No, the owner is upstairs with my wife"
"What's he doing with your wife?"
"What I am doing to his bussiness!"

Nice one.... what about this....


Sam and a beautiful woman walk into a very posh Beverly Hills
furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims.

So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an
absolutely gorgeous full-length coat.

As the lady tries it on, the furrier discreetly whispers to the
man, "Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for 65,000 dollars."

"No problem! I'll write you a check!"

"Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You
may come by on Monday to pick it up, after your check has cleared."

So Sam and the woman leave. On Monday, the Morris returns. The store
owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?! There
wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"

"I just had to come by," grinned Sam, "to thank you for the most
wonderful weekend of my life!"

Took me a while to realize that the woman wasn't there on Monday.

hehe, me too actually.....

I've got loads more where they came from....

This one is a little sick, but still funny....

A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost.

On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied
out back ofthe enlisted men's barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the
tour, "What's the camel for?"

The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, it's a long way from anywhere, and the
men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, we have the camel."

The Captain said, "Well, if it's good for morale, then I guess it's all
right with me."

After he had been at the fort for about 6 months, the Captain could not
stand it anymore, so he told his Sergeant, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"

The Sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the Captain's
quarters. The Captain got a foot stool and proceeded to have vigorous sex
with the camel.

As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool and was buttoning his pants
he asked the Sergeant, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"

The Sergeant replied, "Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into
town."