Answer Me This...

hmmm, i would probably be lying out in my best friends garden (Crowly's girlfriend), surrounded by Crowly and liann (the gf) and probably sarah.  we would all get on really well, and have a really great time, there would be a few spliffs during the afternoon, me and Crowly (im gonna start calling him david from now on) would start play fighting and we would carry on for lmost an hour til we both couldnt stand thru exhaustion and a mild pain from punching each others limbs!  sarah and liann would prob try and join in at sompoint, liann would get in a stress because she isnt strong enuff, and so wont join in, sarah prob would join in and probably knowing sarah start jumping on whoeva out of me and crowly was being held on the ground!  but well, even if sarah liven in england liann is moving out of odiham by the end of this week i am going to really miss her!

I would spend an hour with panda (but im seeing her next week, so i dont need to bother with just one hour when i have a full day!)  so instead i would spend it with my friend oriana, her x best friend told me that she had just been talking to me without showing any real compassion, but i dont believe her, i think she did, i talked to oriana's bf a while ago though and she said she did, and that she talked about me quite a lot.  so i would spend my hour with her finding out here i stood with her, and seeing her child, and just talking to the person a care most about in this world....

i would spend an entire day with cassie (sovery lost) i found out a while ago talking to her through im's that we are shockingly simular in the way we think, our mindset, the way we react to things.  i dunno, but it was extraordinary i would spend the 24hrs with her, just going out sumwhere having a laugh, then go and have a meal sumwhere, and talk about things personally and in depth, then finally we would go off and sit on a bench or in a field sumwhere and go off and smoke some of the finest skunk around.  then we would just fall asleep in each others arms in the field to keep warm.  (btw 4 ne1 who is trying to read anything into that she is lesbien).

now this is the hardest question so far, while im not happy in myself, i am the nicest and most caring person i know.  i do not take insults personally and it takes a lot to hurt me.  im generous and pretty well tempered, and i can bite my toungue if the situation requires it!

so while i dont like myself a lot, and wouldnt change who i am, for fear of turning out worse.  another thing about myself that i like, or well makes life slightly less hard, is that i will forget my own problems in aid of someone elses, which is good in a way, but also bad.
i have had many things about to happen (liann moving) or have happened which i have hated (being bullied at both my secondarty school, and my primary school), and would like to change, but i wouldnt like to change me, so i wouldnt.

last time i smiled was yesterday afternoon, me and liann were on the bus talking and we had one of our verbal joke fight things, and i ended up talking to sumrandom girl on the bus because of it, and me, rdm girl (amy) and liann were all laughing, and me and liann were slagging each other off to amy and every1 (esp amy) was cracking up!  the fact i was drunk, stned and had dun poppers 4 the 1st time yesterday prob helped me to start talking to a random person,lol.  on another note, i fucked up the poppers, i didnt cover the top at all, and instead on just inhaling, i lugged it, through my nose with about the same force u would lug a bong! so i got absolutely fucked, cos i inhaled sum liquid up my nose, lol.  i was a right state, and was cracking up loads.


i would want all my close friends and every1 liked both net and real life, to all live in my pretty little village.

im happy with who i am, but id like every1 else to be with me here!

last time i cryed was on the bus yesterday and they were tears of sorrow, cos after amy got off, i started talking to liann, and found out that they mite be going within the week, if they go.  i thought i had like 6 weeks, til they left.  so i started getting a bit upset, me and liann were doing our favorite thing on the bus, on most journeys she spends the time listening to music, so we have our own sign language, its really cool, we were talking about all sorts of things yesterday, i told her about cassie, well, i got really upset when she told me sh was leaving, she isnt going so i wont be able to see her again, she will live 5 mins from the college i attend, but she wont live a ten minute walk away any more, she has been my rock for the last couple of years, and wheneva im depressed or homelife is getting too much 4 me, i have always been allowed to just go down there, hang around etc.  but in one week that will all be taken away, as i am writing this now i can feel mysself welling up with tears, and i very rarely cry.

well thats me, thats what u wanted to know, i hope it makes u feel better to read it lizzie, cos it has hurt to write it down.