Answer Me This...

First of all, Fallen, since nobody said this till now, I'll go for it. This is the best topic I have ever read in my years on the internet. No doubt about it. It's the topic I was always too lazy to write myself. And for you to write it at a time when I'm wishing to go back in time, to a certain point, it's something else. Thank you. Now, the questions...I don't know what to say. All of them would be related to THE ONE. But since evertyhting is happening with HER the way i want it to, there's no point in mentioning HER as the answer to every question. Still, I can't take her out of every question....My answers will probably be influenced by my recent feelings, maybe a week ago I would have answered differently to some questions.

Where would I like to be now? With whom? Why? I'd like to have HER near me, no matter where. I'd like to be on a shore somewhere, on a beach. Given my dualist nature, I would like to have sun, bright sun, on a beach, with HER, and then dark skies, somewhere in Ireland. I would have to describe a whole scene hear, this can't be just a place or a moment. It takes much more...

An hour? I'd like to have another hour with Ionela, to find out what's bothering her. Another hoour alone with her, maybe I could help her.

A day with someone? This will sound strange, but I am undecided between the Dalai Lama and Ile (Glacialis). It would be so fulfilling to spend a day with Ile, for both of us, that day would probably be something oput of this Earth. With the Dalai Lama, I feel that after a day with him I could be so much richer, and I would know how to get over some periods better, my life would change. Again, my dualist nature...

Prevent something form happening to me? Graduating from college, but I can't stop that anyway. I will miss the people here so much, I am hurting like hell knowing that it's all over, because it was all about human contact for me. And I met so many great people this last year, this is terrible that it's over. Ile, this is what i found at the bottom of my feelings, of my sadeness...Under  that thing with Ionela, this was what's bothering me...
And another thing would be meeting THE ONE earlier. It's no problem that it happened when it did, I know I shouldn't complain, but still...Three years earlier.

Last time I smiled because of something was a couple of hours ago, in the car, when BABY winked at me. She always makes me smile...I love HER more than anything in this world. She is the light in my life. THE ONE. Last time i laughed was 20 minutes ago when I talked to Halap on the phone, he's the funniest guy I know, and one of my best friends.

If I could have anything in the world...I have what I want. All my life I wanted to meet THE ONE, and I am engaged to HER now. I just want us to be happy like this forever. Even after we die. So, form this world, there's nothing more I want that much...Or maybe there is. Success. Even if it may sound weird, I want success. For me and HER. In anything we do> In everything we do.

I am happy with who I am. There's still a little shadow, because I am way to sensitive and sensible. But that's me. I can't change that.

Shedding tears...I don't shed tears often, I cry, but without tears. I think when i saw The Green Mile, and after I got engaged. First, of sorrow, then of joy. I cry often, but, like I said, not with tears...

And again, this was an incredible topic, I cannot believe I actually read it and answered to it. Throw me a mail sometime, Fallen.

Inertia,  I am curious about your answers.

Foe, "sometimes i am the sort of person who regrets the way things went in the past, and it
                    makes me wonder where i would be if those things had happened differently. " We are so much alike, it's frightening sometimes

Ile, I have no doubt that we will meet face to face someday. You are one of the probably three persons in the world I completely trust. Completely.  





(Edited by Amor Fati at 11:58 am on July 15, 2001)