Just Stay A Little Longer....

7-22-01

 Nothing can stop me can stop me now, cause I don t care anymore. Black and blue and broken bones  
     I watch her through my drunken state, dancing somewhere to the left of the middle of the room. My vision blurs as I focus on the lights behind her. The lights of the beach dance behind her, below and out beyond the balcony. The only sounds in the room, drifting from a few speakers above the bed.
    The doors to the veranda are open, and the sheer white drapes seem to dance along with her. Her hips slide smoothly from side to side as she turns in small circles, raising her arms far above her. Lowering them gracefully once again. Her eyelids are heavy as she moves slowly, silently around the room.
     Droplets of ice run down my hand from the cold snifter I hold. I look down at it, and smile at the expression she always makes when she takes a sip. I lift it to my mouth and gingerly take a drink. The amber colour of the bottle seems to paint the room in shades of gold. I lift it up further and watch her dance through the glass.
      She s so beautiful.
      Her long hair sweeps from shoulder to shoulder and she runs her fingers through it over and over again. The scarlet streaks run wildly through the black shadows of her hair, and catch the light as she pulls it back with her hands. Her hips still swinging softly.
     I put the bottle down next to the bed and pull my legs up beneath me.
     She turns to face me and smiles. She s so beautiful.
     The gossamer gown she wears displays perfectly the curves of her legs and her hips, the alluring curves of her breasts and her back.
     She looks up at me again and smiles softly. She s always such a tease. She s in love with me. She knows I see it. Her lips are so soft, especially against my skin.
     Her eyes stay set upon me as she slinks farther away, pulling her hair up off of her shoulders. Showing me her delicate collarbone, her alabaster skin. I've been in love with her for so long.
    She moves toward me slowly, my pulse quickening with each soft step. Her feet are bare, and I remember we left her shoes somewhere down on the beach before she decided to come back up to the room. I smile again and look up. The space between us has become very small and she grins devilishly at me.
    She pulls her dress up just above her knees, and her beautiful legs show once again. The bed sinks a little as she moves her leg to my other side and puts her arms around my neck. Nibbling at my ears.
     I close my eyes and take in the scent of her skin. The smell of her hair. I brush her hair back with my fingertips and kiss her shoulders. My tongue lingering for a taste of her skin once more. I look at her and she closes her eyes and smiles, falling back into me. I can taste her lips again, her mouth hints of peaches. My head is swimming and my entire body is suddenly intensely warm. I could stay in this moment forever. She lays in my arms and kisses my neck, over and over again.
      My eyes focus again on the lights, below and beyond the balcony. The lights are dimming, becoming blurred. The sheer drapes have died, hanging limply along side the doors. My eyes burn and a few stray tears roll down my face and into my mouth, mingling with the taste of peaches.
      Am I crying?
       I close my eyes and hear sirens. I look down to my love and see her screams. I can smell fresh blood all around me, and the smell of death. I feel so faint, everything s moving so fast. Suddenly it s so hot in here and the screams are almost unbearable.
       The sounds and smells fade sooner then they came. I feel nothing.
        I open my eyes and see her silhouette slinking gracefully around the room again. The music is gone, but I don t mind.
        God, she s so beautiful.
        I close my eyes and feel my face grow warm again with tears. I open my eyes and taste the lingering hint of peaches. She lies asleep in my arms. I hear myself scream, and I look up to see her dancing again.
       She s so graceful.
       A car accident was such a terrible way for it to end. She would of made such a beautiful mother. Would have had such a beautiful child.
      I watch her pull back her hair and look back at me across her shoulders. I want to scream at her not to get in the car, and to stay with me. I know I'm saying it, but why can t I hear my voice?
      I close my eyes and feel her hands slide down my hips, her fingers stroking my legs. My pulse quickens and my breathing becomes heavy, labored. I still want her so bad. I feel her hands sliding beneath my skirt s hem again. God, how I've always wanted her.
      I open my eyes and smell the scent of death in her kiss. I feel as if I'm going to be sick.
      I close my eyes and feel my face grow warm. I open them to see the open road again. Looking down towards the bottom of the hill. The twisted corpse of the small sedan still burning. My hands shaking violently as I try to stay calm. I scream and close my eyes. I can still taste the hint of peaches.
      I fall down, sobbing, and open my eyes to see her dancing still. Walking slowly towards me again. In the silent room I hear the paramedics curse at what a horrid accident it was. That no one could have survived it. I glance down at the bottom of the hill and swallow. I close my eyes and feel her arms around me. Her tongue tracing down my abdomen. The firemen have put out the blaze and I can t bear to look at what s left of my beautiful dancer.
      I sob quietly through her kisses. I pull her close to me and hold her tightly against my body.
      I hear the coroner state the time of death faintly from the bottom of the hill.  
      The sweet smell of her hair and her body are almost intoxicating.
      The officer asks me to step back,   The show s over,  he tells us. I bite my lip hard and look back towards Donnie.
      I open my eyes again and see her face through the shadows. I want to keep holding her here forever.
      Please don t go. Won t you please? Just keep dancing Sophia just keep kissing my neck and nibbling at my stomach and hips like you used to do.
      You don t have to leave. You don t have to go. Please, won t you just stay a little while? Don t go just let me hold you here a little longer

(Edited by Fallen at 2:51 pm on Jan. 12, 2002)

"dancing somewhere to the left of the middle of the room."

Dunno why, but having purely explanatory sentences that are very plain and devoid of emotion within emotional pieces is very effective.

The transition from the fantasy/dance scene into the crash works well.  No warning, but somehow integrated into the mood of it.

A couple of things:

If you're planning on directing or guiding readers (this only applies if you're writing for an audience rather than just for yourself or catharsis), using paragraph breaks often gives you some degree of control over how a piece is read; breaking the piece into paragraphs, but still keeping the transition from the dance to the crash within the same paragraph makes the whole thing more smooth (and, paradoxiacally, more affecting).

The figure of Donnie was somewhat confusing.  At first I thought that you were referring to the narrator's lover, since you hadn't named her at that point.

This isn't fictitious Bruce. Sophia was my lover for a long time, as was Donnie.

Oh..my..God... And with the song playing...