Salvation

      "Every time I close my eyes, I'm reminded of the darkness in your life..."
       I lied. I bit my tongue, and pushed back the hair in my face. The hair caught amidst my tears. The tears that mingled with my clumpy mascara and ran pointlessly down my face.
       Do you know what I look like with tears streaming down my face? Have you ever felt my body shudder in complete misery? Have you ever seen me push back the truth, and wash away the lies with tears?
      My clumpy mascara ran senselessly down my face. But they didn t know it. They weren t looking at my face when they asked me. They barely heard my voice.
       I lied.
       I lied and told them that I was happy with where I was in life. I was happy with who I d become. I was happy with the things I d accomplished and the things I've done. I was content with the person I am now, and how I've triumphed over the person I was- but I'm not.
       I lied.
       Don t you see? I don t know where I'm going. I only know where I've been. I don t want to look behind me, I don t want to look ahead. And now I don t know where I'm going. I don t know what is happening. I don t know where I am in life- who I am in life.
       I lied.
       I pushed back the hair that was tangled amidst the tears and I lied through my fake smiles and clumpy mascara. And now I'm just as lost as I ever was. As I've ever been...


(Edited by Fallen at 10:23 pm on Jan. 15, 2002)