Salvation

*sad smile* That sounds so familiar. I hope you won't go so far down as I did. In the end, I lost all my emotions, and then there was nothing left. I have almost no memory of that time. Then I read Khalil Gibran's "Prophet", and it helped me to start over again. To start... to get the courage to feel again.

Since I was 7, I thought that emotions were a hindrance and should be removed. I figured that if I overload my mind with pain, they'll vanish, as they did. But to see that you've tortured yourself for 11 years for nothing, only to fight to repair the damage you've done to yourself... Hmh.

What am I left with from that time? Understanding and acceptance. Perhaps too lots of them. And my love for melancholy. There is no emotion sweeter to me, than a certain longing melancholy, which has some compassion and love for the whole world. Sadly, I'm too uncaring to feel it often anymore. I'm content of just being able to feel again.