Salvation

I'm sitting here in the darkness, and I wonder when it all began. Maybe it was earlier than I had imagined. Maybe it was later than I'd thought. The cherry wood of the table looks even darker in the pitch black hues of the room. I wonder if maybe I've always been like this, just too consumed with what everyone thought to notice. Too consumed with the thoughts of BJ, that were still underlying the moments of my day. I think maybe I wasn't always like this, that maybe a time ago I had felt something. Felt....anything. Mother sits down next to me on the sofa and she asks me what is wrong. I don't know, I tell her. She asks me what I need. Again I can only tell her I don't know. The cherry wood of the table seems to darken in the pitch blacks hues of the room. Maybe it began some time ago, and it's been building up inside of me. Or rather tearing me down. She tells me she can't read my thoughts, and if she could it might frighten her. She asks me what is wrong. I tell her I am hollow. She says she doesn't understand. I know you don't. The pitch black hues of the room seem to lighten, and the cherry wood table stands out through the crystal tears she wallows in. She asks me what I want her to do. I tell her I don't know. I hear her stifle a cry, but it doesn't seem to disturb me. She stands up and says she's sorry, and leaves me in the pitch black hues of the room....wondering when it all began.