Strange day today | All others are away...

...and I've been able to let down my pseudoperson. Strange things rush to mind. Ones that'd normally come before falling asleep. Endless loop of whys. It doesn't help anything, and I know it, and it makes me annoyed.

I've been looping Metallica's "Sad but True", One, and Rise of the Triad's "You suck". Many, many times. Over and over again.

I want my empathy back. It has slowly drained away over the summer. Must be the new 'powerhungry' setting I have set my mind into. I don't know how to switch back to the one right setting. I'd have improvements to it from my misadventures in psychic land.

Losing empathy drained my ability to fully enjoy arts. And the ability to produce it. I'm left with a strange urge to cause harm, since it's the only way to give strong enough stimulae to cause an emotional reaction... joy.

Strange, but watching the news, the conflicts and accdents make me laugh at the stupidity of people. But I want to feel compassion. Alas, I can not. Unscrupulously taking advantage of people gives me joy, again because of their stupidity. But I don't want to cause harm more than necessary. Still, I have to.

I don't care.