I'm stoned | Ignore this post

God just shit on my balls
Fucking rectum licking pile of puke, that J. Edgar Hoover
I want him to drown in my shit
Just like Mescaline
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L_

Mah bruthah was named Jebediah. He liked to sodomize cats. Jebediah an me was driving home one night from a tractor pull in Damascus, drunk offa our asses, when suddenly a band of Syrian monks overpowered us. Then th' martian spacecraft Hovertron invaded th' planet Earth, shootin' them green lazer beams like in ID4, killing all the Syrian monks, an torching the city of Damascus like it was a possum at a post-wedding barbecue. An Jebediah, he says, "Holy fuck, man! I wish I brought my inflatable loved doll, so I could impress them fuckin' Venutians with my superior masturbation skiullz," or somethin like that. Anyway, the martians probed us several times, and Jebediah started squealing like a pig, crying out for his mama, like a fuckin' mo-ron. Th' aliens threw us back onto the planet's surface after what appeared to be a dozen probings, saying "WE WILL RETURN!!!" in a scary voice.

Telephone users don't take drugs.