new DEVILMAN figure i got today | "welvath"

Hmm....

No perfume. But my best friend gave me a bottle of hers.

I don't wear dresses. Much less expensive dresses. Though I do have one from a few years ago I had to wear to a formal.

I don't wear high heels. I'm 6'2. What in the hell would that achieve? Longer looking legs? Besides, they're death for your back. I'd much rather a pair of combat boots or my sneakers.

Cell phones are for the mad. Though we did buy one we never use for emergencies only i.e. car trouble on our nine hour trips to go see bj. nine hours one way, nine hours the other. (we cut it down from thirteen, and we go every other week)

I don't have any posters, though I do have dozens of paintings, collages, photographs and "creations" covering my walls. Artist being myself you see.

Fan items? Why would I care? I worship no one.
Except myself of course.

I sadly have no books after that fateful playing with matches. Though my small yet pleasing library contains Helter Skelter a book I've read dozens of times over now. The Onion Field a book my mother's girlfriend gave me. And a few John Grisham novels. Though I gave them back to Kathy. I read constantly.
I crave knowledge.

Next...

*slack jaw effect*
Why aren't there girls like you here?

rite

On with the show

• alcohol, tobacco, drugs, all that crap
  
• microwave dinners
  
• bought souveniers
  
• home exercising equipment (especially those from TV-shop; Blaaargh)
  
• photos or paintings, of other than mood inducing scenery
  
• 'empty' music, most of modern music that has nothing in lyrics or music
  
• that hair care shit you put to hair before showering and shampoo
  
• gel, hair wax, hair spray
  
• (would put shaved bodily hair other than beard, but you can't buy that )
  
• pets
  
• children
  
• potplants
  
• plasticsurgery (sp?) enhanced bodyparts
  
• 'fine' dinner ware
  
• vases and such crap, and picked flowers
  

If you'll clear that, I'll have to start thinking of other crap I've seen over the years.

alcohol, tobacco, drugs, all that crap- Well...I've been doing drugs off and on for seven years. I just don't see the point anymore. Besides...I never spent money on it anyways. Not when you have these legs. I mean...this smile. And I hate liqour and cigarettes.

microwave dinners- although i like my plastic-y food er...plastic-y. not quite that plastic-y.  

bought souveniers- sadly, i don't go anywhere. though i have decided to keep an engagement ring from a seven month long relationship. It's a souvenir. Though it has been brought to my attention it was a relationship, not Disneyworld.  

home exercising equipment (especially those from TV-shop; Blaaargh)- hahahaha

photos or paintings, of other than mood inducing scenery- i paint and have an interest in photography. but i don't buy others artwork. i have no money....

'empty' music, most of modern music that has nothing in lyrics or music- i listen to pink floyd, nine inch nails and a few other bands that haven't really tickled society's taste buds.

that hair care shit you put to hair before showering and shampoo- what DO you mean? i wash and dry my hair. and occasionally cut it.  

gel, hair wax, hair spray- hair gel feels nice between my toes, but i prefer mud. hair wax? you've got to be kidding. although i love pouring hot wax all over me...er...and hair spray makes me sneeze.

(would put shaved bodily hair other than beard, but you can't buy that  )

pets- i have a chihuahua that eats my leftovers, sleeps in my bed, and never visits the vet or needs a bath. i love my little crack whore...

children- i don't have any children. though i'd glady spend money on the children i work with that are either autistic or have other handicaps. or my younger sister i see a few times a year.

potplants- theres something unappealing about a plastic plant.

plasticsurgery (sp?) enhanced bodyparts- i don't think so

'fine' dinner ware- are we talking china? we have the family heirlooms, but other then that i really just don't care.  

vases and such crap, and picked flowers- mum's best friend of quite a few years was an interior decorator and made many floral arrangements. but we don't "buy" them persay.

Keep digging...

Need a brake. To think other things for a while.

Why the fuck you'd spend money on children? There's nothing good about them.

And a pet? Yeah, I like our dog, but it was a stupid idea to get it. It wastes my time and requires attention, causes mischief and havoc.

The above can be included into the one big category of: why the fuck take anyone into close proximity in your life?

As a side note, this thought loses it's power as my mental barriers fall just before I fall asleep or immediately after I've woken, so I guess those aren't my true feelings.

Glacialis Posted on 6:59 pm on Aug. 2, 2001
Need a brake. To think other things for a while.

Why the fuck you'd spend money on children? There's nothing good about them.

And a pet? Yeah, I like our dog, but it was a stupid idea to get it. It wastes my time and requires attention, causes mischief and havoc.

The above can be included into the one big category of: why the fuck take anyone into close proximity in your life?

As a side note, this thought loses it's power as my mental barriers fall just before I fall asleep or immediately after I've woken, so I guess those aren't my true feelings.

Well...first off. I volunteer at an abused mother and children's home. Alot of the children there I take pity upon because I've been there and done that before. I also volunteer at a school for the mentally handicapped, dealing with generally smaller children. i've been volunteering in these places for years now. i enjoy it. i don't really know why, but the simple pleasures and joys alot of these children have remind me of an innocence not many have any longer.
Second, my chihuahua has been with me for ten years. I don't spend any money on him and he loves me unconditionally. he sleeps with me, he eats with me, and he stays with me everywhere i go. though thats not too many places apart from volunteering and school. i'd marry him if he didn't have four legs, a tail and a bit of a bodily hair problem.
and i didn't take him in, he took me.  

That innocence thing is one thing that makes me so dislike children. It just causes an explosion of hate to think that they haven't been kicked in the face yet. That they have their dreams and hopes. It's called bitterness, I guess.

Our dog's been around for 9 years. His also to me almost all what you say, but requires food (even though my parents pay for that), walking out and attention when I don't want to. As I wrote in another topic, I've lost most of my empathy over the summer. I can't care for anything but myself, mostly. And it pisses me off.

I am the self-centered, evil, self-absorbed, attention-seeking, ever so self-important livid beet shaped vindictive heart head

Hmh. *sadsmile* Be as you may.

Or so I have been told...

But what do YOU feel you are? That's only how you appear to the outsiders, it most likely isn't what you are, deep down inside.

Oh no, you are mistaken. Thats what I am...I think.

To the outsiders I'm the disgustingly happy-always making you laugh-always has a smile on her face and a giggle on the end of her tongue-doing, talking, saying or thinking crazy shit-tall girl who's always got a different hair colour, whether it be green or blue or bright smoldering orange.

I don't know who I am.

Ha! Hair dye is one of the things that is crap in my eyes.

I don't know who I am either. Or am I? Maybe it doesn't matter as long as my mind keeps going. Maybe I'll one day wake up from dreaming myself, and cease to be. Human's are self-decieving liars for most part. They're just so gullible that they belive themselves that the words they say to themselves are true. "You're great. You're a good person. You're social. People are nice".

I'm guilty as charged. I figured that if I waited long enough hair dye would pop up on your list. I dye my hair more or less for shock value. Not to "look good or trendy" because, truthfully, I could really care less. And plus the green matches so beautifully with my eyes...

I say, "Yes, he's nice." When I have nothing else to say. Goddamned conspiracy theories.

I have no use for 'shocking' people. I like to stay unnoticed. I'm already quite good at it. People get scared often when I "Just appear behind" them.

Despite my disgust with people and my hatred towards them, I still crave their attention and I receive it.
I'm always the center of attention amongst my friends. Whether it's that I'm the only female, or that I'm "special" I don't really know anymore. And despite, once again, my disgust with people and my hatred towards them...if I was taken from the center stage, away from the lights and away from the people, I'd sadly miss it.

However, I enjoy my isolation and I have much of it. I'm alone so much now, I can't recall the faces of friends. Phone numbers and hair colours alike. They've all seemed to escape me.

Maybe I feel as if I'm better then those that I'm around. Not to say that I'm better then everyone, merely the ones around me.
Maybe I stay around them for that reason specifically. I don't know anymore.

Maybe I don't care either.