wrong number, bitch... | heh- work.

okay, i dunno what's wrong with one of our clients at work.

they're a multi-million dollar, nationwide retail store, and for some fucking reason, they can't be bothered to CLEARLY INDICATE THE BILLING NUMBER ON THE BILLS THEY SEND OUT.

i get at least 5 people per week who call, screaming at the top of their lungs about how they "ain't gonna pay no $50 for a sweater that got returned!"...

of course, i have to be civil to them. sorta.

today i had one old lady with an english accent telling me about how "disgusting" it was that our call center has an automated answering service, because it puts so many people out of work. i didn't bother to tell her that the center employs over 200 people...

anyhow, she was also generally pissed off because she seeminly had a poor understanding of the logistics of the english language.

for some reason, she read the line on her bill that said "for flexible scheduling, and employment opportunities, call XXX-XXX-XXXX", and thought that somehow had something to do with the billing department.

so, even though i don't get paid to be a directory service for idiots, i brought the number up for her. she asked me "can you connect me to them?".

"you want me to dial the number for you?" i asked. "yes..." she replied. "i'm sorry mam, i'm not allowed to do that, and even if i was, i wouldn't even know how.", which is true.

when it comes right down to it, i get paid to take information from people who apply for jobs, and nothing else. so she was lucky i gave her the number at all.

but before i gave her the number, i asked her "now, is there another number on the bill somewhere?". her reply, of course, was "no".

then she went off on one of those typical tirades that people go off on when they're angry because no one is willing to coddle them, and walk them through life like a fucking infant. basically, she swore up and down that the number wasn't there, and that if we'd bother to put the number on there in the first place, she wouldn't have to speak to me. makes sense, right?

so, i gave her the number.

and guess what?

...

"now, mam... are you sure you don't see the number i just gave you somewhere on your bill?".

"...oh, now i see it..." she said. suddenly realizing that she had been a total rag-cunt up to this point.

"were the instructions written in a confusing way?".

"well, all it says is 'for inquiries about your store credit card, call this number'... it doesn't say anything about billing..."

i fucking shit you not.

i swear i looked at the keys on my phone just to make sure there wasn't a "punch the person on the other end of the line in the throat" button...



man, and then there are the people who don't understand that i'm not part of the billing department, and there's no way for me to help them. "but i've TRIED that number, and all i get is a machine! i don't want to talk to a goddamned machine! since i've got you on the phone, i'm not going to hang up until you help me, or transfer me to a human being in the billing department!".

what part of "i can't do that" do these people not understand?

Dude, that sucks.

Our secretary has to deal with idiots who find a link to our company's site on another company's site (because they're using our scripts or the site was designed by us).  The long and short of it is that she deals with the same shit: people complaining about merchandise, wanting to talk to people who don't work here...None of these morons realise that they're now dealing with an entirely different company.