Munkee terds

I'm bored.

It's been a long time since my last article. From my last article until now is how long it has taken for me to reply to emails, complete projects, write code, go insane... come back to sanity (partially). Now I sit here at work for the past 2 hours and the next 2 hours with nothing to do. Mostly because our systems are down, and that's ok.

Now for a story:
They walked to the edge of the village. Sure enough, there was a not-invited man, all festooned in tusks. He was spitting and growling fiercely. He was clacking his tusks. He was waving a narwahl tusk back and forth in the air. He stabbed at some villagers who had come too close to him -- the villagers gasped and stepped back. He had lice jumping out of his hair. He had matted knots of bird feathers braided down his neck.

By now the entire village had gathered. The old man stepped up to the not-invited man.

"Those are nice tusks," the old man said. "You spit nicely, too. What's more, your lice are bigger than any I've ever seen in all my years. Now that I've seen your ferociousness close-up -- leave our village at once!"

"I'm here to challenge you!" the not-invited man said. "I'm a far more powerful magician than you!"

"You smell worse than a rotting whale carcass!" the old man said.

"What?" said the not-invited guest. "Did I hear you insult me?"

"You smell worse than a boot that has been vomited into by everyone in my village," said the old man.

"What?" said the not-invited man, waving the tusk. "How dare you!"

"You are only fit to live in a polar bear's anus," said the old man.

-- 'The Girl Who Dreamed Only Geese', stories told by Howard Norman